It was the best of years; it was the worst of years…I figured it would be appropriate to finally write again. For those of you not in the know, November 4th was the one-year mark of my diagnosis of a brain tumor. I can’t help to reflect on how much has changed and happened in the past twelve months and ponder the potential events and benchmarks of the year to come. After all it was just 6 months ago that I went to sleep in an OR at NYU and woke up with my life in front of me. Friends…Loving life.

As I’ve mentioned before, I did wake up a changed gal. Not necessarily different, but definitely changed. What Dayna and I like to call Technicolor. For those of you who haven’t spoken to me about this aspect, I can best liken it to a trip to the ophthalmologist. You know when you put your eyes to that funky looking gadget and the Doc asks. Lenses 1 or 2, is 3 or 4 clearer, 4 or 5 and so on. Well, for me it’s as if it all came in to crystal clear focus and the colors are brilliant. Surreal. I see what is important to me and quite honestly; I don’t really bother worrying about what isn’t. I’m more concerned with living the next part of my life and experiencing it then worrying what others might think or how I am going to accomplish what I want to. As one of my dearest friends Deb says, Lee you just Do!

Don’t get me wrong, I realize there are consequences to every action we take and I am not living a wild and dangerous life, I am not irresponsible (too much)…. but I am living, I am most definitely feeling and experiencing again. Sometimes it takes events like mine to gain perspective. I didn’t realize how far I had moved away from living my life versus just being awake for it. Again, I urge you to go out and live.

OK so an update. Hmmmm. Well I feel awesome. The kids and I most definitely had the summer of fun. We went camping together (one of my all time favorite weekends), we went to the beach, we went swimming, we spent time with Max my new nephew, we spent time on Long Island, we spent time in Connecticut, we saw our cousins from Florida. It was spectacular. Additionally, I got to attend my 20-year reunion. Now I have to admit, I was reticent about going, but I did promise Dayna and Nicole that if I had survived the surgery and I had hair I was going. I am so grateful that I kept my promise. One of my favorite weekends ever. I saw so many wonderful friends, rekindled friendships and enjoyed the experience for what it was. Heck I even stayed out till 6 am with some of you. More importantly, I was present and accounted for. Something a year ago neither I, nor my doctor’s thought would be possible. For those of you reading this who were also there and spoke with me…thank you. A huge heartfelt thank you.

So what have I been up to? Gosh where to start. Most importantly, my six-month checkup went really well. Tumor free and doing well. I am back on Chemo starting three weeks ago, and will continue on it indefinitely. One night a week of feeling yucky is hardly a price to pay for my life with all of you and my beautiful kids (Yes – I ditched the 3 moth check-up frankly because I was so freaking tired of doctors, seriously can ya blame me?).

As most of you already know my business is really taking off. The candle line was featured on Martha Stewart Radio and then subsequently sold out, I will be interviewed on TV this Sunday and it appears that skies the limit and we are poised to take off on a national level. So I have buckled my seat belt, put my tray in the upright position and can’t wait for the ride of my life.
It would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge that this did not happen by my own doing. Behind every successful business is a team of amazing people. I happen to have some of the best around. One of my recent blogs states, “it takes a village, and I have the most incredible community”. The truth is that I do. The success is completely team earned. Dayna, Deb, Mar, Joelle, Jamie and Matt – I am and will be eternally grateful. I am quite sure that The Botanical Collection is here to stay and Only Good Things Are To Come.

Oh yeah – you know, no Lisa email would be complete without the sap. Hmm, who should I zing? Nah no need for sap, it’s all smiles and champagne in the Lisa Camp but ya know I have to acknowledge a few key people who have kept me going even when I was having a hard day and reminded me of what I have gone through and what perspective I need to keep.
Dayna- Like ya didn’t know I was going here first (don’t worry Deb you are next). My god, what to say. Life is so much brighter and more colorful with you in it. Each day is started with a morning sunshine text and with that I know how utterly fantastic the day will be, and if it starts to swing the other way…I know that you are only a text away. I love you. Now what all of you need to know is that the other end of this morning text is another gal who walked into my life so unexpectedly and yet it feels like my life is complete now that she is in it. Debbie – WOW. One of the greatest things that came out of the reunion and from David is you. You are the perfect compliment to the team. It is rare to meet someone so late in your life and yet form a bond that you know will weather any storm. You are the real deal and I feel privileged to call you my friend, my colleague and a part of my life. Every day I revel in how close we have become and how much a part of my life you are. I am blessed. Mar – my BFF, my go to man, my I need a little love call. I am so excited for the future and I only see bright lights ahead. I look forward to the journey. JoJo – Thank Goodness we continue to grow closer together. I know the best is yet to come for us. While I may not be perfect, I know that the bonds of sisterhood keep us together and closing any gaps that the years in between have created. I am proud of you and love you. Mom and Dad – yeah, you are OK too. The daily check ins even when I don’t answer, the always welcomed arms when I visit and the constant praise are all a little girl could ever want…and I realize now I will always be your little girl. David – My goodness – you are a complete pain, but I doubt anyone knows me better then you do and makes me smile and laugh at myself (and you) as much as you do. You’re one of the few that can call it with me in an instant and stop me in my tracks. You, my friend, are still one of the greatest gifts this illness gave me a year ago – hell you brought Deb into the fold. I know years of friendship (and me banging my head against the wall with your sarcasm) are still to come. Yes, I love you too. Susan, El, El, Donna, Marilyn and Nic– LOVE You! Stateline – Thank you for keeping music in our house. Helen – I can’t wait to hear more of my song. A bigger honor has never been made. Ken, You rock in so many ways. A – if ever there were a rollercoaster made of my life, you would be in the front car. I am glad our friendship has endeavored so many storms. Ahhh yes –and another newcomer to the scene…Rich – Baby Blues. I am eternally grateful to your great energy, warm friendship and fantastic vibes. Thank you so much for walking into my life I truly plan on this friendship lasting for the long haul.

So with that I say good night. I am sure there are tons that I didn’t mention, but hey there are more blogs and notes to be written. As always I beg you all to be present to your lives. Not to get mired in the small stuff and remind you that is usually is small stuff. Revel in watching your children grow, hold their hand when they let you, say thank you and show acts of gratitude when warranted because it does make a difference, and play. My God Play. Life is too short, what are you all waiting for. I’ve always said tomorrow isn’t promised and as most of you know I am not waiting for tomorrow to live my life, neither should any of you.
Love to you all!
Lee

At long last, it is time to bid good riddance to Herman and close down the lisa.removes.herman email account. It is hard for me to believe that over a month has passed since my surgery and yet oddly it is almost like it never happened (emphasis is on almost). I feel fabulous and have indeed learned to take every day as a gift. I can honestly say I start each day with a huge smile and meet it with both enthusiasm and gratitude. Yes, of course I have my moments, I am human; however, it’s infinitely easier for me to take stock of how precious life is and GET OVER IT. Prior to this year, the opposite was true for me. I would spend more time ruminating over things I can’t change or that I have no control over, or at least thought I had control over but didn’t. As the saying goes, don’t sweat the small stuff, and it is all small stuff! My goodness, how true those words are.

Now to the good part…They were absolutely, positively successful in removing the entire mass. As it turns out it was not a pituitary tumor, but rather a fluid filled cyst. The issue was, that it (like me) was not your normal run of the mill cyst – duh, who would think I’d do something as boring as that. They are relatively certain (nothing in life is 100% except death…and taxes) that this was caused by a rare auto-immune brain disease called Lymphocytic hypophysitis or a Rathke's cleft cyst. Either way it’s gone – so who cares really? The scary part is that it was indeed growing and my demise was certain had I not had the surgery (give or take 6 months). Yeah, FREAKY SCARY.

So what to do from here in terms of treatment you ask? Nada Mucha. Such a shame, I was so enjoying my frequent visits to doctors who like to stick me with needles. For those of you who don’t know my history with needles, let me just say that I opted to have my children naturally without drugs rather than have a needle stuck in my back. Once again, I digress – and maybe provided a little too much info. All I will need to do is have my blood taken regularly. I will also have to have regular MRI’s. [Dayna – I’m looking into having my ipod with me so you don’t need to block out the next 50 years of MRI’s. You will of course need to block out the next 50+ years for friendship.] Yes, Dayna and I will be up to our normal bag of tricks for years to come. I honestly don’t know if the world is ready for us. My neurosurgeon and neuro-endocrinologist have assured me that I have no reason to believe that I won’t have a LONG, happy, healthy and extraordinary life. Key here is not normal – who wants to be normal when you can live it up and be extraordinary?

So what is next? Like ya think I didn’t have a plan? Well, some of it I will keep to myself so you can enjoy the journey with me. Yes, I will continue to write. After much prodding and confidence building by many of you, I have decided to keep writing and put it up on my personal blog to keep you entertained. More importantly, my business has launched, inspired by my nephew Max and Herman. Thebotanicalcollection.net is open for business and going full force. I am thrilled to say that I have already been contacted by newspapers, magazines and some retail stores just from one press release (I also have an amazing Director of PR – Joelle – who knew she had this talent – wheelin’ and dealin’?). I am so proud of the company…and if I can allow myself the shameless plug…I am proud of myself – I finally listened to my inner circle of confidants and not my inner voice and got out of my own way. Sometimes the fear of success can be just as powerful as the fear of failure. Yes, you can quote me.

Again and for the last time the Thank You segment of my email – I need to thank my family (Mom, Dad, Chad, Joelle, Mark, Ami, Pa, Stacy, Rod, Jamie, Princess Ali, Aunt Jackie, Uncle Monroe, Aunt Sue & Uncle Tom)…yeah, I know the last 6 months kinda sucked…thank you for loving me and supporting each other through this when I needed to try and figure it all out. Chad – I know this was way more than you ever bargained for and I know the stress was at some times unbearable, so thank you for keeping it together and being the mom and dad to the kids when I needed to recover and couldn’t be. Joelle – I have to say publicly that I do treasure you and our growing friendship; I wouldn’t want to fumble through life without you! and thank you for Max - my Divine inspiration. Dayna – speechless, you leave me speechless…you put your life on hold for months and made sure a day didn’t go by without letting me know you would be there till the end of this…Psych – now you’re stuck for so many more years of me and my crap. Mar – my BFF and strongest cheerleader – I look forward to lifetime of fun and success for us both. Susan – I can’t imagine what coming out of the hospital without you and your love would have been like. My rapid recovery is so much due to your care…now we both get to have some fun together for years to come. PaTaylor – You coming back into my life is one of the best things to have happened – you may not remember this but 12 years ago you gave me the magnet that says, “a true friend walks in when another walks out” need I say more? The gals of South Salem – a better group of woman that supports each other selflessly could not be found. Craig and Matt – yeah, I’m going here…boys if someone told me 3 years ago that two of my dearest friends would be young enough to my kids I would have laughed, the two of you and your friendship/love for me and my well being is nothing short of a bond between mother and child…you will forever be in my life. Sonia – I could not imagine coming home to a house without you, you remind me every day why life is worth living (Emily and Jacob). David – yeah you, didn’t think I would let this go without singling you out? My oh my aren’t people gonna talk about this one…your insight and wisdom about life is what got me through some of my darkest days toward the end, when I could barely talk to anyone, your continued friendship and humor is what I know will always get me through any dark moments that might lie ahead – Thank You. Friends and Family not singled out…I could go on and on and on because each and everyone on this email touched my heart and life in so many ways I couldn’t express on paper – by the way did I mention I need cookies on a continual basis (you know who you are). Last but NOT least, some of you have also asked not to be singled out in the true “Lisa” style and I totally respect that – just know what you have given me and taught me about life and myself is something that I will forever hold dear. I have no regrets and in the end only amazing memories and life lessons from this entire experience.

Although they are too young to read this now, I need to say a separate thank you to Jacob and Emily. I love you both. You two are everything to me and the reason I know that life is worth living every day to the fullest. You are the driving force behind all that I want to accomplish … but please know that no matter what I do in my future the two of you will always be my finest accomplishment.

So friends and family it is with a full heart and a “perma-grin” that I say goodbye to Herman and Hello to My Life! And remember Only Good Things to Come. Oh screw it….Only Amazing, Fabulous, Brilliant and FUN Things to Come.

With Love and a huge ass smile,

Lee

To be honest, I don’t know where to begin. I was so overwhelmed before I went into surgery by the amazing words of encouragement and support that I had received. But nothing, nothing prepared me for what has happened since. The heartfelt words that were written on my face book page, the emails sent, the beautiful cards that I received when I came home last week…. Unfortunately, it takes events like these to realize how much you are loved and thought of and as such Thank You doesn’t seem to do it justice. A close friend reminded me the other day that “you can tell the true measure of a (wo)man by the company (s)he keeps” and if I were ever unsure of who I am and my place in the world to take stock of what has occurred and I what I created in terms of community. I was of course taken back by the enormity of what they said, but later that evening when I was laying in bed, really started to think about the depth of it and the consequences of our action and words. Please accept this humble thank you for your support and encouragement. My continued health and fast recovery is due in large part to you all. I am forever grateful.

As most of you already know the surgery was a complete success. Herman has left the building. Once of the greatest pieces of advice I received before going into surgery was to make sure I was in a great mental/emotional place before I went under, because the body would retain that position when I woke up. NICOLE you are a genius. I took your advice to heart and kicked some royal Butt! I was so upbeat and so ready for this surgery nothing was going to deter me from waking up to see my kids and having the rest of my life to enjoy. In fact I don’t think the doctors were prepared for Lisa “Mary Poppins” Swengros. I walked into the OR head held high politely asked the surgical team (all 10 people in the Operating Suite) “Are we ready to kick a little Ass? Let’s get this thing out already!”. After 3.5 hours the doctors were able to successfully remove Herman with very little complications. I woke up true to Nicole’s words, happy, excited and alive. What the OR nurses who stayed with me in recovery couldn’t believe is that I woke up with a huge smile. I was not nauseas, bewildered, confused….just looking to find out how long until happy hour. Yes, I really did ask for a scotch and cigar in recovery a few minutes after waking up! Ask Dayna, she can attest.

My recovery went just as smoothly in ICU – mentally that is. Yes, we had a few minor hiccups medically and yes we are still monitoring my pituitary functions closely…but nothing, NOTHING is or was going to get in my way of recovering fully and moving forward. I can promise you all that. The tales are true, my BFF [MAR, thank you. A better BFF I couldn’t find] made sure my hospital bed was beautiful, my hair was presentable, lipstick was on and YES – I did wear awesome PJ’s before welcoming all of the amazing visitors – My entire family, Taylor, Dayna, Mar, Susan, Ellen x2, Jen, Andy, Neil, Donna, Jackie, Monroe - (yes – I also received and continue to wear a tiara from another princess).

Friday I was moved to a regular room and finally was able to see the two most important people in my life. Emily and Jacob – just thinking about seeing them walk into the room makes me both smile and tear. Of course they were true to form. Jacob came over to me and asked “is it really over, did they really get everything, are you really going to live mommy?” Emily asked if the tiara I was wearing was mine and could she have it. That night was then topped off by a visit from Ellen & Ellen complete with French food. Yes, Lisa had escargot. Love Ya gals.

Saturday I was discharged directly under the care of another amazing friend Susan. Again, no words can do the acts of kindness and generosity credit. Susan took me to her apartment in the city and nursed me back to health for the next 4 days, waking up in the middle of the night to make sure I took my medicine, checking in to make sure I wasn’t running fevers, monitoring my progress with the doctor’s, all the while taking care of her husband and kids back at their home in CT. Now that gal can multi task. Susan, I love you and thank you for all of your warmth, love and care.

I am now resting comfortably at home and getting stronger every day. More importantly, I am making every day count. Something I urge you all to not take lightly. If you take nothing else away from what I have gone through, please remember that this life is not a dress rehearsal, so go out there and make it count. Be Happy. Love the Life you Live and Live the Life you Love. I know I intend to.

Now to the information many of you have been waiting for. The early Pathology is in and everything points to a positive and full recovery. While I do have some additional information, I do not have it in entirety and would not be able to answer and follow up questions - and I know I have tons, so I can imagine some of you will as well. As such, in true Lisa fashion I am waiting until I am fully in the know to go public – but again I will reiterate my true belief and initial reaction from the doctors….Nothing But Good Things To Come!

What a tough few days. I am down to the home stretch. Just another week and this chapter of my life will be done.

Last week was the shopping extravaganza. If you never had the opportunity to go shopping with a celebrity lifestyle expert then you haven’t really lived. I don’t think Lord and Taylors will ever be the same – at least I know the shoe department won’t be. Now I realize that I will be in bed for a few days recovering so shoes shouldn’t be on the top of the list – but a gals gotta have kick ass slippers. Unfortunately, this gal did not find them yet. What we did find was some fabulous “sleeping clothes, a matching pink pashmina in case I get chilly and a great new lip color to match”. BFF I love you for a fabulous day.

I’d like to thank my family for all of the cards and calls that I have received over the past week. I realize for some of you this all came as new news. There is a saying that goes, “everything happens for a reason” perhaps now we will all keep in touch with each other on a regular basis to remind us all about the importance of family and not just when life events occur.

To my immediate family who has been keeping a strong front, I thank you. I know watching and waiting for new news or the other shoe to drop has not been an easy road. But I do know it has brought us closer as a family. I look forward to sharing so many fun times together this summer with all of the kids.

I would also like to thank those friends both new and old that have made time over the past few weekends to see me and reconnect. Whether it was dinner or drinks at the Park Bench, showing up at the Checkmate to say hello after so many years, flying up from Florida for a weekend, flying in from California, having a drink and watch me shed a tear at the country corner pub, or simply driving me to West Meadow to have a cup of coffee and just “be” on one of my toughest days. Those thoughts are forever ingrained in my mind (and now on so many others if they have watch some of the photo’s posted on Facebook over the past few weeks). Even those who haven’t been able to see me have made it a point to write me meaningful notes and letters to let me know how I have made an impact on their life. While this latest update is by no means a goodbye – as I plan to kick Herman’s ass next week in surgery…it is a great opportunity to open up and say not only thank you but give you all recognition for what you have done for me.

A few of you have even made mention that when I wake up things for me will never be the same. I guess anytime you go through risky surgery this is true. I can share that already I’ve changed immeasurably. I am definitely stronger, more independent, a better writer and willing to take more risks (as if I wasn’t a risk taker already).

My gift to all of you is to learn from this – it shouldn’t take surgery to realize that this life is not a dress rehearsal. Never put off the important things until tomorrow. The easy road isn’t always the best, sometimes it is just the easiest. Complacency is not a form of success – EVER. But the one that I want to remind you most of is about what happens to the man who takes no risks….nothing. Folks take the risk and live.

I assure you I have not one regret going into next week. I have had the privilege of a life rich with experience. I have traveled the world, had a full and amazing career once through by the age of 30, I’ve swam with dolphins and jumped out of perfectly good airplanes. I’ve let my friends know how much I respect and care for them and been there to hold them when they didn’t know if it would be OK. I have told the people I love, just how much I love them. I’ve known the warmth of having two beautiful children put in your arms right after I gave life to them. And I also know what home can feel like when you are in the arms of someone you love.
Be well and I will see you all soon.

Good Evening!

I apologize for the delay in this update. I was hoping to have sent it out earlier this week - but well - evidently my body had other plans. It's hard to believe but only 17 days left until surgery and the beginning of my life without Herman. For those of you new to the email updates - Herman is the affectionate name I gave to the thing that resides in my head uninvited. In fact "D" and I have decided to have fun and spruce up the next few days and updates.

So before I get to the medical updates some housekeeping items:

Going forward updates will be sent from our new temporary email account that has been sent out via separate email. The reason for the temporary email is simple - it allows "D", "J" or myself to send out email updates without clogging up personal accounts and gives easy access to one distribution list by multiple users. That being said, feel free to email questions to that account, etc. If you want to leave me a personal type email, please feel free to continue using my aol account. Once I am out of the hospital and recovered I will close out the gmail account thus ending my relationship with Herman.

So last Monday represented the last of the scheduled pre-op exams. My buddy "D" and I had the lovely experience of visiting countless doctors and technicians. We were also able to scope out the area for those that plan on visiting (i.e. family, friends, paparazzi, etc). You know D and I, two peas in a pod. I don't think NYU knew what to do with us. We are shameless, and made friends on every floor we visited even when we didn't have an appointment there. Dad I made you proud, dancing and sashaying down the corridors of NYU.

So here's the news. My CATscan appointment did reveal that I have a lovely brain and I was even fitted with a nifty headpiece to wear during surgery that will help guide the two surgeons through the process should they need to use the MRI that will be in the room during the procedure.

I then went to the big ENT appointment. Folks - more good news here. They feel confident that they can give it a try through my nose. The past surgeries will not preclude them from this route which was an initial fear. That being said, they did remind me I the possibility exits that a craniotomy may be needed once they get in and access the situation. Dr. L, my ENT was kind enough to walk me through his part of the procedure. Somewhere around the point where he said he would stick a small camera up one of the nostrils, I tuned out and was practically on the floor. I nearly passed out again when he looked up said nostrils. Thank goodness I brought D, because for all I know he was planning on giving me a nose job. As most of you know from previous surgeries, ENT's and I don't mix. I did pre-warn him that he should stand at least 12 feet away from me if I wake up with packing up my nose and sinus cavity. For those of you who don't believe me just ask my father and Dr. Stewart the previous ENT who did my deviated septum surgery, he still walks with a limp.

Then on to pre-op admin. Ahhh more blood was given, an EKG, and urine. ahhh how I love urine samples, you would think by this day in age they would have come up with a more sophisticated way to do this instead of embarrassing you as you carry your clear cup of pee around the pre-op floor asking what to do with it. Couldn't they come up with fancier containers, or how about toile or flowered cups, or even an Ed Hardy designed cup so I don't look like a complete loser at this stage of the game. It was bad enough I had to wear one of those gowns with my tush hanging out the back. And of course I wore a thong, for those of you who where wondering. If you have a nice ass might as well flaunt it while you can. Sorry Dad and Father Bill if that was TMI.

Last on our tour, but not least we did spend a lovely time with the anesthesiologist. I say lovely, because every word out of her mouth was OK love, OK sweetie, OK pooh bear. I thought D and I were going to burst into laughter. But since she is the woman with the power to make the pain go away, we were very polite and dug our fingers into our hands as she inserted love into every sentence at least TWICE. She did assure me I would not feel any pain through out the entire hospital stay. LOVE her.

Some things we did learn during this recent trip. No children under 15 are allowed to visit the Neuro ICU, the entrance to the hospital is on 34th street between 1st and FDR. No balloons are allowed in the hospital. But most important - I will not have WiFi access in the ICU. Which leads me to my next point. I will have my iphone with me and with any luck I will have a new Mac laptop - but will not be able to use it until I am in a regular room. I am told thru some secret sources that I will have 3G access - so yeah - I will be checking email, facebook and gmail remotely from my iPhone in the ICU. As if you thought I would be able to go 2 days untethered. PUL LEEEASE.

OK now to the good stuff. D and I did some reconnaissance.

For your visiting pleasure: The NYU Tisch hospital entrance is located at 400 East 34th street (between 1st and FDR) There is plenty of parking in the area. If it is a bad hair day, you can even park in the lot on the East Side of 1st and 30th - but beware it is a schlepp through the bowels of the medical center to get to my floor. There seems to be some debate as the floor I will be on once I am out of recovery. Here is what I do know. The surgery will be on the 6th floor. I will be in recovery on the 6th floor. I believe after that I will be up on the 12th floor Neuro ICU and Neuro Surgical floor. Again, I am reminded I will be in Neuro ICU for two days. I do not know what time my surgery is on the 22nd, I will send out an email as soon as I know sometime on the 21st. The surgery itself will be anywhere from 3 to 5 hours. Being the uber patient that I am, I'm hoping to be out in 3.

If you plan on being at the hospital the day of surgery you will need to be on the 6th floor via Elevator K. Now here is a little bitty I will share. If you are at the Lee Removes Herman surgery party (i.e., in the waiting room) you will not only receive a goody bag - as if you think we wouldn't turn it up a notch - this is a class act folks, but you will also be allowed to visit me in the recovery room before ICU. This my friends - may be your chance to take those pictures that you can sell for a lot of money when I am famous in a few years from the launch of the botanical line. You heard it hear first.

Now although there will be goody bags complete with the necessary comfort items for visitors - I also know you may get hungry. Here is what I can offer you. There is a very good diner The East Bay Diner located on the corner of 29th and 1st. There are a number of Sushi restaurants on 2nd avenue between 30th and 34th. MORE importantly there is a Starbucks located at 32nd @ 2nd Ave. I like grande Cafe Mocha's and if it is warm out Java Chip Frapp's. Hey I'm just saying if you are making the trip - I did have a tumor removed, show the girl some love. Oh yeah, in case you want to celebrate Irish style. There is an Irish Pub located on the West side of 2nd avenue between 29th and 30th. I like single malt scotch (again, I'm just saying).

Well I think that's it folks for this update. Again, thank you all for the love, support, positive energy, good karma, that you continue to send. I am overwhelmed at the friends and family that have stepped out of the shadows of years past and continuously send me lovely emails, facebook emails and phone calls. I've tried to keep my attitude positive and my outlook bright, but know that the only reason that has been possible is due to ALL of your support. It's interesting one of the sayings that comes to my mind these days and really holds a lot of weight is: A true friend walks in when the others walk out. So from my heart, Thank you for walking in!

Oh my one last point - whoops, I almost forgot. Yes, I was in the hospital Wed/Thu due to a complication caused by Herman and my pituitary gland. I am resting comfortably with a little help from my friend Morphine. This was in fact unexpected and unfortunately very painful. It is possible that some of these little issues may pop up between now and the 22nd - but I assure you I have my eye on the prize and know only good things are to come.

With Love,
Indie Lee

I am pleased to finally announce a surgical date has been scheduled. I am scheduled to have surgery on Wednesday, April 22nd at NYU Hospital. After much consideration I decided to choose this team over the Sloan team as I felt more comfortable with Dr. G's thorough review of my case and time spent with me explaining his concerns and thoughts. Over the next few weeks I will be taking care of all of the pre-cert testing and peripheral benchmarking that needs to be accomplished.

The method of surgery is still TBD (craniotomy vs transphenoidal) until I meet with the ENT. Since this distribution list is only to immediate friends and family I feel comfortable disclosing that although the surgeons will make every attempt to go through my nose, in the end I may need a craniotomy to remove the mass. I feel confident that Dr. G is the man for both surgical types (yet another reason for my decision). Yes there are risks with these surgeries - but lets not even focus on anything other then my recovery.

The most poplar question is - what is the diagnosis. Folks, we still do not know and won't know until the mass is removed and tested. Yes, there is the possibility that it is malignant or has pre-cancerous cells; however, I am not choosing that as an option for me right now. Only happy thoughts here! When I know what it is I will let you all know. As the surgeon said to me it's one of 5 things and the fifth option is labeled "other".

I will be in the hospital from Wednesday 4/22 through 4/24 or 25th. Yes, I realize this falls on both several family birthday's - but trust me there was no choice. This is when it will be done. Unlike my method of dealing with fact finding, doctor visiting etc, I would love and welcome any and all visitors during my recovery both in and out of the hospital. The best treatment for any illness is smiling and positive energy and well all of you bring a smile to my face and heart. So please don't feel like you are bothering me - I will let you know if I need some space or am not up to the visits.

That brings me to my next subject. Thank you all for the support and love that each of you continue to send during this very difficult and draining time. I can't say enough thank you's. I can't imagine going through this saga without each one of you. I do realize that for some of you there have been a bunch of questions directed to you regarding the status of my health (i.e., kids class, etc), please feel free to refer any and all questions to me or answer as you feel fit. The truth is we have no idea what this is and what the long term ramifications are until it is removed. Personally I'm going with they are going to get this out and then I will start taking hip hop class. I have no intention of this slowing me down.

Ahh so this leads into the next point. Recovery - the initial 3 weeks after surgery will be very critical for me. I need to get plenty of rest and have very little stress. The concern here is that I don't have an RA flare up or kick the auto immune into high gear. I will be off all medications from now until three weeks after surgery. Any and all play dates for the kids are welcomed. Also, I need to stay as healthy as possible. The mass is indeed growing so we do not want to hold up the surgery any longer then necessary - so if you don't feel well please don't hug me. I know it's hard to resist :)

Last point - communication - I will make sure an email is circulated to update you as to my status post surgery. Up until posting this all on the blog not everyone has been in the know. Initially I was going to keep all of this information private, but after all the calls and prompting to blog my story...well here it is out in the open

OK well I think that is it. Consider yourself in the know.

I can't stress to you all enough how important you are in my life. Thank you just doesn't seem to cut it. Some of you have and will be traveling distances to see me - I'm not sure if I can ever convey how that has made me feel. Each one of you have gone above and beyond and to say I feel blessed just doesn't seem to cut it. Only good things ahead - I know that.

I just need to go on record to thank "D" publically - she has gone to doctor appointments with me, interviewed surgeons with me, sat with me through MRI's (reading the entire time to me) and has been with me through countless blood test. Girl you rock and yes that needed to be done for everyone to hear.

With love,
Indie Lee

So I must admit I was initially a little weary about telling my story or at least the one that lead me to this moment. I am not sure if it is fear or my ingrained sense of privacy that has kept me from sharing. Again, the little voice inside me says that I need to stop listening to my head and listen to my heart and so the floodgates have now been opened.

The Botanical Collection was really born out of a realization that we all need to go back to basics. We need to stop putting so many chemicals on our bodies and in our bodies. I truly believe it the environment that is creating so many health issues. When I say environment, I’m not only talking about carbon emissions, but things as basic as the soap we use on our skin. Let’s face it the skin is the largest organ in our body and we put more chemicals and toxins on it then we want to admit…and don’t even get me started on whether we look at the expiration dates of our lotions and potions. It’s so interesting, prior to this renewal of spirit, I would easily have used my body lotion until it was empty and not even given a thought of when it went bad…yet you couldn’t pay me to eat a 12 month old tomato, sprayed with carcinogens. However, there is absolutely no difference in the two examples other then we all are guilty of the first. But I digress.

As I have said I started The Botanical Baby as an ancillary business to Growing Green Farm (a local starter vegetable and herb nursery). My sister was expecting her first child and the thought of her using Baby Powder with talc (a known toxin) was too much for me to bear. So I created all natural, 100% organic baby body products for my soon to be nephew. Wow what a great idea everyone said, you should market it separately. Of course my inner voice said gee that would be fun, but could it be successful? No matter how many people believed I could do it, I had to believe in myself.

Then a little divine intervention…OK a kick in the head would be more like it.

I had been having some headaches, my peripheral vision was starting to be effected on my left side, I was told at 37 I was in menopause, and I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis in July. (To be honest, I didn’t mind the third point. I have two beautiful children and consider myself blessed.) My internist, a brilliant doctor, thought we should just do a quick MRI to make sure there was nothing going on, it just seemed like too much in such a short period of time.

On November 4, 2008 I had an MRI. The results came back and my internist was correct - I had a brain tumor. There was my kick in the head! Five expert tumor centers in four different states later and we are still unsure what it exactly is. The one constant is that it needs to be removed – via craniotomy. I am obviously over simplifying this for the purpose of the blog and to get you all up to date quickly. Many dark days and nights have passed over the last 4 months – but many great lights have shined as well. I am sure now more than ever what we put in and on our bodies, what we clean and fragrance our homes and how we recycle these produce with has so much to do with the decline in health these days. Autism, cancer, ADD, ADHD, learning disabilities, tumors, asthma – you name it the statistics are there. The question is what we are doing to change things.

So readers …that is where the inspiration and the drive to create a national outlet and platform for The Botanical Collection was born. The only thing I can do is share my story and my passion. It’s up to everyone else to join in on the cause.